"Honey Boo Boo"...It's Shit Like This!

You have to admit, TV is just awful. The shows that people watch are unbelievable. I say this not watching one episode of most TV programs, but I'm pretty sure I know what to expect. There are all of the "Housewives" shows, talent shows, 'Licious crap, and reality documentaries. I just made up that term because the new show on TLC, "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo", deserves nothing but a made up category. The show shouldn't exist and if any of you plan on watching it, don't ever talk to me again. I'm totally cereal about this!

First of all, the whole "Toddlers and Tiaras" show that this little girl comes from is brutal. Those poor little girls are getting mocked and put in situations they shouldn't have to be in. I have watched about 15 minutes of one episode and have heard many discussions regarding the series and there is just no reason why it should be on TV. Why don't people complain to the FCC about these types of shows? And where are the special interest groups for children's rights? Oh, that's right, they rather spend their efforts on silly things like religion (yeah, I said it), a four letter slip on live TV, or stopping re-runs of Bugs Bunny because it might be too violent (I made that up..I just never see Bugs Bunny on TV anymore and I think it's because no one knows how to parent so we have to let special interest and government decide for us). Sorry, I'm running away here. Let's grab those reins!!

So "Honey Boo Boo". Did you watch the video above? Did you see that? TLC (The Learning Channel if any of you didn't know) is making a spin-off show about a little girl that does beauty pageants. I really don't want to talk bad about the little girl. I can't watch the videos long enough to even get her real name, but I think it's Alana. She seems like she might be a product of poor guidance. She sort of has an attitude problem, which her loved ones would probably call confidence. This lack of guidance is seen all through out the promo (Did you really watch that video up top yet?). She says "Uh dolla make me holla Honey Boo Boo". Holy hell!! You can't have your six year old saying that...but I'm sure she'll still be saying that in 12 more years if this behavior is still allowed. I could really talk bad about her, but she's a six year old little girl. It's not really fair to her, but her mom should be ashamed. And so should any of you who watch this crap regularly.

If you keep watching these types of shows, they will continue to be made and people will think it's OK to act this way. Just look at the teen pregnancy shows on MTV. How many times have you heard about the mom or dad going to jail. These people/kids do not need to be in the spotlight. It's only making a difficult situation harder for them. It's all going to lead to this world living the movie "Idiocracy". Please go watch this movie if you haven't. It's a silly yet funny movie, but it makes a valid point. We're headed to a sad place. Hopefully I'll be dead before we start watering our crops with electrolytes.

Maxim Hot 100 Review...FINALLY!

Well the bad news is that I believe my Maxim subscription ran out before the May issue because I never received my Maxim Hot 100 issue.  That's OK though because I now have a subscription to Esquire magazine, not by choice.  A friend had me vote for his dream girl, Katy Upton (#39), to come to a Super Bowl party and I got signed up for a stupid subscription.  Luckily there is the Internet and I am able to see the list without having to pay.  I'll be honest, I don't know who half of these women are, but there are all kinds of women in this list.  There is Amanda Knox (#92) who was formally convicted murder in Italy.  The conviction was overturned four years later.  There is Lois Griffin (#85), a cartoon and the rest are your standard actresses and models...except for Stephen Colbert (#69...get it?) who proves that nothing is sacred anymore, not even the Maxim Hot 100 which helps us decide who is hot.  So let's get started, shall we?

First off, let's discuss Emma Watson (#21), Selena Gomez (#24), and Vanessa Hudgens (#62). Are these three even legal?  It may just be my old age getting the best of me, but I'm pretty sure they are like 14 and if they aren't, that's how I believe they are portrayed on TV.  Quite honestly the most I have ever seen of any of them was when I worked for a company that had me sleeping in a bedroom covered with High School Musical posters on the walls.  I'm not quite certain which of the three were on the poster, but I know it was one of them.  I'm 100% sure it wasn't Emma Watson because I think she played Harry Potter or something. 

Another problem I have with this list is that Katy Perry (#4) and Zooey Deschanel (#41) are so far apart on the list.  THEY ARE THE SAME PERSON!!!  Look at 'em!!!  Identical!  OK, maybe they aren't twins, but they look enough alike that they should not be 37 spots apart.  They should be like #4 and #5.  You pick who gets #4 and who gets #5.  Katy is a bit sluttier so I'd put her at #4.  But that's how I roll.  I love whores.

I am pleased with Miley Cyrus being at #68.  I sort of understand her sex appeal, if you want to call it that.  She was a good girl on Disney and then she started her "singing" career and has transformed herself in the bad girl.  We've all seen the self-shots of her in her underwear, we've seen her give lap dances to older guys, and of course there is or isn't the drug use.  So again, because I like those kind of gals, I give her a bit of credit, enough to be on the list.  I'm just happy that Maxim didn't fall for hype and make her a top 20 girl.  

Speaking of music artists, phucking Taylor Swift (#26).  NO!!!

As for the rest of the list, I'm neither pleased nor displeased by the order.  I have yet to mention the top 10, except for Katy Deschanel.  Should Bar Refaeli be number one?  Sure.  Why not?  But arguments can be made that the others around her could easily take her place such as Mila Kunis (#3), Oliva Munn/Wilde (#2/5), Emma Stone (#7)...solely on her popularity, and Kate Beckinsale (#12).  Any of those could be interchangeable with Bar (what and awful name) and I think that just has to do with your taste.  But there is one thing that I couldn't be happier about.  Remember last year's list?  I think someone from Maxim is a Sancheezie fan!

Megan Fox is back in the top 10 and not only that, she is three spots ahead of Rosie Huntington-Whiteley.  I won't bore you all with my Megan vs. Rosie argument, but you are more than welcome to review it here and here.   Megan Fox is just amazing. It's only a matter of time before she leaves that douche bag and marries me.  That's right...the only way Sancheezie is getting married is if it is to Megan Fox.

Other Notables from the Maxim Hot 100:
81.  Pippa Middleton
77.  Christina Hendricks (she should be off next year)
74.  JWOWW (at least Snooki isn't on the list)
59.  Amanda Bynes
51.  Stacy Keibler
33.  Jessica Alba
23.  Anne Hathaway
17.  Scarlett Johansson

SNUBS:
Brittany Spears
Minka Kelly

Top 10:
Adrianne Aalicki
Malin Akerman
Megan Fox
Emma Stone
Jennifer Lawrence
Olivia Wilde
Katy Perry
Mila Kunis
Olivia Munn
Bar Refaeli

Where have you been?!?!

Wow..has it really been since March 9th since I have posted on this page?  Holy crap!  Obviously no one is missing it because I haven't gotten any emails or texts asking when I was going to write the next Sancheezie post.  Well I am here and I have nothing to say.  I just thought I'd start typing and see what happens.

I read today that NASCAR viewership is declining and has been for a few years....or at least has flat-lined.  I know I'm watching it every weekend when possible.  I missed a couple races due to travel for work, but for the most part I have been keeping up and I'm 13th out of 55 people in my NASCAR fantasy league.  I was in the top ten, but I had a bad week going into the second segment.  Actually I had another bad week after that too, but I think I'm getting back on track.  The Hendrick cars looked strong today in New Hampshire.  All of them finished in the top seven.  The Chase is only a few races away and it should be awesome!  Maybe if Jr. ends up winning the championship, some of the fans will come back.  I'm a believer that if NASCAR promoted a fantasy game, that would bring more people into the sport too.  How many people watch every football game just because they have a player in their line-up playing...even if it's a team they hate.  Well not me, I don't pick players from the Colts.  Phuck that noise!

Don't you think that I have forgotten about this year's Maxim Top 100.  I guess Bar Refaeli got the top spot.  I can't say I agree or disagree because I haven't looked at the list all that much, but it was nice to see Megan Fox in the top 10 as she should be!  I think she's preggo which really pisses me off because #1 it's not mine and #2 it's with that douche bag of the century, Brian Austin Green.  I just did a Google search for him and it returned, "who?".  Not even Megan Fox is perfect I guess.

Did you know that Aerosmith is back on tour?  If you know me, then you have heard the stories and have seen the pictures.  I only got to do two shows this leg, but I'm looking forward to the second leg in the fall. I'm hoping to go to at least two more if not 20.  The news this past week is that Steven Tyler finally gave up on the Idol gig.  I'm glad to have to band back and in full force!  Check out the new single, "Legendary Child" from the November 6th release Music From Another Dimension.  I think we're getting another trilogy of videos much like the Alicia Silverstone videos in the 90's with the Get A Grip Album.  I hope for the same success, but we'll see.  I can't say too much more about Aerosmith.  Someone may be getting interviewed about being an uber fan on another blog soon and I have promised an Aerosmith post as a guest writer on the site.  I'll be sure to share if I ever come back here :)  But like I have always said, this blog isn't supposed to be about me anyway.

Ok, if you read this and are excited for me to be back...at least for this post...then maybe I'll come back and say something about that Maxim Top 100.  I'm sure I have some bones to pick with it again this year.