I Guess I Should Put A Title Here

Some of the best commercials on TV are the Mayhem commercials for Allstate Insurance and the Jack Link's "Messing with Sasquatch" series. Mayhem is just awesome. He's happy to cause destruction and ruin people's day. But if everyone would just get Allstate, he wouldn't be allowed to...SO GET ALLSTATE INSURANCE PEOPLE!! Wait...don't. I need more Mayhem commercials.

The "Messing with Sasquatch" commercials are always funny as well. However, Sasquatch always gets the short end of the stick. All he's trying to do is to live in the woods and do Sasquatch things. One commercial that really upsets me is the Campfire commercial. There are actually two of them but only seem to play one on TV. It's where Sasquatch is carrying a tree on his shoulder, probably trying to either exercise or build a new home for Mrs. Sasquatch, and runs across some over privilege white kids. They are around a campfire and the little blonde bitch offers the exhausted Sasquatch her chair. He happily accepts and as he sits down she pulls the chair out from under him and he falls on the ground. Of course Sasquatch is pissed and I can't blame him for kicking one of the guys into the trees. However, he kicked the wrong person. He needed to kick the blonde whore instead. It was her idea. That guy didn't whisper in her ear "Hey, fuck with the hairy dude..he always falls for it." No, she was solo.

But you know, Sasquatch will never get a fair shake. He's all over TV and still hardly anyone believes in him. I hope one day he's gets the best of Jack Link's and they'll stop messing with Sasquatch. He deserves to enjoy some tasty jerky and live peacefully in the woods. Until then, keep making those commercials!!


TV VERSION

THE OTHER VERSION

Which One Wouldja? - Lindsay Lohan

It seems like every couple of weeks we get a new Lindsay Lohan mugshot. It's not really interesting, no one really cares, and most of us hope she'd just stay in jail so we can forget about her, unless she plays a crack whore in a new movie. So below is a Sancheezie first...a poll!!! How original. So if you had to...which one wouldja?


***Sorry, you can't vote on the underaged Lohan in the video. It's not right...or legal.***

IT'S STILL NOT ABOUT YOU! - Miss Sprint Cup

*SIGH* Alright I'll keep this short. There isn't much more I can say about Miss Sprint Cup. I think she's useless and a distraction in the winner's circle for NASCAR. Like I've said before I'm sure she has her purpose, but maybe that it is off camera because this week's NASCAR race in Talladega was again ruined when Kim Coon had to make sure she was right next to Clint Bowyer during his post race interview. Kim, how many times do you have to lick your lips? You're not Megan Fox. You're sorta cute, I'd give you a 16, but licking your lips and puffing them out is not going to help much. And why are you nodding as if you were doing the interview? You know, maybe that's a good role. Let's kick out the networks and have Miss Sprint Cup interview the racers. OK NASCAR, take care of your sponsor Sprint and let Miss Sprint Cup ask the questions after the race. If she's going to be in the shot, she might as well say something. I'd rather see the reporter and the person being interviewed. Not some spokes model who doesn't speak and is a helmet short of no one caring anyway. BTW, have I just missed Monica during the post race interviews this year or does she not do them anymore? I can't be sure since I usually turn the race off before it's Miss Sprint Cup's time to shine.

Esquire's Sexiest Woman Alive - Rihanna???

Rihanna Sexiest Woman Alive • Rihanna Naked Pics

Every year since 2004 Esquire Magazine, which I have no idea is about, names it's Sexiest Woman Alive and past winners have include Angelina Jolie (2004), Jessica Biel (2005), Scarlett Johansson (2006), Charlize Theron (2007), Halle Berry (2008), Kate Beckinsale (2009), Minka Kelly (2010) and this year's choice, Rihanna, who is one of those, "I don't need a last name" kind of gals. You know what really surprised me about this list, Megan Fox wasn't on it. I thought she had won in 2009 because of her awesome Esquire Video but apparently I am wrong. Well I'm not "wrong" because of course she was the sexiest woman in 2009, well the sexiest woman ever, but the people of Esquire think differently.

As I said before, Rihanna was named 2011's Sexiest Woman Alive. At only 23 years old, she isn't bad. Quite honestly I would put her at a 19 at best on the 1-30 scale. Many people find her very attractive and of course most of it is fueled by media, such as Esquire Magazine. I guess my problem is that even though I don't think Rihanna is the sexiest woman alive, I don't know who I'd pick this year. After seeing a few photos last week and even watching "Horrible Bosses" this past summer, I want to say my pick would be Jennifer Aniston. She's not bad and I think she's higher on the 1-30 scale than Rihanna. I'd put her at around a 25 or 26..maybe even higher. A lot of people/media outlets have a bad opinion of her especially because of short-lived relationships and her past relationship with Brad Pitt, but if we just look at the sexiness factor, she's pretty hot! She was funny and dirty in Horrible Bosses and looked fantastic in her lingerie and lab coat and she said all the things I wish a woman would say to me just once! Plus, you really never see a bad picture of her. She always looks good. Have you ever seen her in the movie "Rock Star"? Me Gusta!!!

So I guess this has turned into the "Sancheezie's Sexiest Woman of 2011 Other Than Megan Fox Because She Would Win Every Year" (SSW2K11OTMFBSWWEY) post. This year's SSW2K11OTMFBSWWEY winner is Jennifer Aniston for all the reasons I mentioned above. If you have a problem with it, you're wrong because that woman is hot! You're not going to find many 42 year olds that look better than all the 20 year olds....in the world. You're just not! So congrats to you Jennifer Aniston. You don't really get anything for this, but you do get mentioned on Sancheezie and that should do well for your career!

Nicole Scherzinger...Where Have You ( I ) Been?!?!

So as I continued to hate everything Steven Tyler does outside of Aerosmtih, the greatest Rock N Roll band the world EVER produced, I figured I had better check out the video from the iHeartRadio festival in Las Vegas from a few weeks ago. I'm not sure what iHeartRadio is nor do I care because if it's not Sirius XM, I'm not going to listen to it anyway. Steven Tyler was to perform there with other artists and he played his solo song, "It Feels So Good", which is a rejected Aerosmith song called "Oxygen". So to even say that it's his is sorta bullshit. Steven was joined on stage by Randy Jackson, looking rather silly in his purple sport coat playing bass and some fine little lady named Nichole Scherzinger. I believe she is on the studio track and she's in the music video as well. Ummm...WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME ABOUT HER?!?!

So this girl was part of the Pussycat Dolls? I had no idea. I remember doing barricade security for them one show and I couldn't help but to look behind me and see these girls wearing hardly nothing!! I don't remember anything about the music which is probably why I never bothered to learn who Nicole Scherzinger was, but thankfully I know who she is now and even though I'm years behind, I plan on catching up rather quickly. She's quite the looker, but ya know she doesn't sound too bad either. I really only need her to wear skirts/dresses, shorts or bikinis for me to fall in love with her. How about those legs, huh?! OK, enough yappin' and not enough fappin'.